The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Our Careers

The way you see your career can shape what you believe is possible next.

It's funny how two people can look at exactly the same career and come to completely different conclusions. One person sees a series of bad decisions. Another sees resilience. One person sees a career that's all over the place, while another sees someone who's adaptable, curious and willing to try new things. One person sees years that have been wasted, while another sees experiences that couldn't have been learnt any other way.

The facts haven't changed. Only the story has.

The longer I work with people on their careers, the more I realise that many don't arrive carrying a career problem. They arrive carrying a belief about themselves. They believe they've made too many mistakes, that they've fallen behind, that their experience doesn't make sense or that they don't really have anything to offer.

What's interesting is that these aren't facts. They're the meaning we've attached to our experiences over time.

How Your Career Story Shapes Your Confidence

I don't think we intentionally create these stories. They tend to develop quietly over the years.

A role that didn't work out becomes proof that we're not cut out for leadership. A redundancy becomes evidence that we're somehow less valuable. A few unsuccessful job applications become a sign that we've been left behind.

Before long, isolated moments become the lens through which we view our entire career.

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful because we rarely stop to question them. If we tell ourselves we've made poor career decisions, we start looking for evidence to support that belief. If we believe our experience is too varied, we stop recognising the strengths that connect it. If we convince ourselves we've fallen behind, we begin comparing ourselves to everyone who appears to be moving faster.

We don't experience our careers through facts. We experience them through the stories we tell ourselves about those facts. It's a little like reading one chapter of a book and deciding you already know how the story ends.

Our careers are made up of hundreds of experiences, decisions, relationships and opportunities. Some work out exactly as we'd hoped. Others don't. Some take us in directions we never expected. Others teach us lessons we'd never have chosen to learn.

Yet when we look back, we often reduce all of that complexity to a single sentence.

"I've wasted years."

"I'm too old."

"I've gone backwards."

"I'm starting again."

Those stories feel true because we've repeated them so often.

Looking Beyond Your Career Story

Perhaps that's because we're simply too close to our own careers to see them objectively.

We're often quick to remember the role that didn't work out, the opportunity we didn't take or the decision we'd make differently if we had the chance. Yet we rarely give the same attention to the skills we've developed, the resilience we've built or the people we've influenced along the way.

If a friend described their career to us, we'd probably see far more possibility than they could see themselves. We'd recognise their strengths, notice their transferable skills and remind them of everything they'd achieved.

Yet when it comes to our own careers, we often become our own harshest critic.

Our careers were never meant to be perfectly straight lines. They reflect the reality of our lives, shaped by changing priorities, unexpected opportunities, setbacks, family, financial pressures, health, timing and sometimes simply doing the best we could with the information we had at the time. Yet when we look back, we often reduce all of that complexity to a simple story about success or failure.

Changing the Way You See Your Career

I've come to believe that one of the most valuable parts of a career conversation isn't always deciding what's next. Sometimes it's recognising that the story we've been telling ourselves isn't the only way to understand where we've been. Those stories aren't always kind. And they're not always true. Sometimes nothing about your career needs to change.

Sometimes it's just the story you've been telling yourself about it all along.

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Ready for a Different Perspective?

If this article resonated with you, perhaps it's time to take a step back and look at your career through a different lens.

Whether you're feeling stuck, questioning your direction or simply trying to make sense of your career journey, you don't have to work it out alone.

At Pick a Path, Career Strategy sessions are designed to help you uncover your strengths, reconnect with what's important to you and explore what's possible next.

Learn more about my Career Strategy services or get in touch to start the conversation.